Crushing On Mariam Bishar

I was a shy boy in highschool. While my classmates talked about the fun things they did on holiday, I never had anything to tell. The closest I ever got to a girl was during a Great Debaters Contest workshop at Moi Girls Eldoret, where a girl from Kabarak Highschool publicly declined to shake my hand.

My confidence was crushed. So, apart from Kosy (Chepkosgei), I never talked to another lady. I have never met a beautiful and bold girl like Kosy. While going back to school after a midterm break, she called me, bought me lunch and gave me her number. For someone who had never been approached before, I felt like Rotimi. I have never fantasized like that before. I bet all my Chemistry and Math classes were used thinking about her. Unfortunately, I never made it to  that "lets be friends" league with her. 

So most of my highschool life was filled with fear of approaching women. 

However, I had a mad crush on Mariam Bishar. I will tell you why.

Somewhere in 2015, I was a news reader in my school. I fell in journalism after I realized it was the only thing that would make me popular, go out for to cover events(funkies), and build my confidence. If lucky, a girl would give me her number and I would use my mothers phone to text her during holidays. One Monday morning during my news presentation, I blankly asked the admin to allow students in the press club to go for a journalism fair at Kipsigs girls (Kipee.) This school had the most beautiful girls ever. I will tell you about it someday.

After the assembly I was called aside by our matron. He told me that it was not a good move that I acquired the invitation letter and leaked the content to the students yet the admin had not received it. And for some reason I was told to stop inciting students. That if the school couldn't finance the trip to Kipsigis, then the students will fill like the school is not on their side. And this would be my fault. I felt so powerful. That I could influence people. My love for journalism has never died. And now that I have finished that kukurukakara, let me no tell you how I came to crush on Mariam Bishar.

Love at first sight is not a movie thing. It someone a normal person like me and you feel. You can argue that you have never felt love at first sight and I will support you. There are people out here who are very choosy. Like you. I wonder why when it comes to red flags and karakata development, you are never.

At Samoei School of the Great (Samoei Boys Highschool), I was among the strongest members of the Debate Club. This club gave me an opportunity to travel the country for debate contests and workshops. The Great Debaters Contest was one such event. It is here I first saw Mariam Bishar. Beauuuuuutiful woman. Mali safi. Kitu pengting. Belle Femme(This is a google translation. It it is wring, just knw I don't believe in it).

On the other hand of beauty was me. Bald headed. Upara. Long sleeved shirts. Very clean. Tie, belongs to a form one. Socks, belongs to my bedmate. Watch, belongs to a don't know who. Shoes, belongs to Adams Korir, kijana wa lessos. This boy(and all guys from Lessos, divorced English when they first stepped to this world). And then boxers belonged to?

Thirteen minutes and forty three seconds after sitting down at that hall in Chibisas Boys, I saw a gorgeous lady walking towards the stage. I knew this was my future...eeeh...wife. There was something about her confidence and how she spoke good English tat just drove me crazy. She had such an amazing voice that by the time she was sitting down to give other judges a chance to speak, I had forgotten all she had said.

And for the most part of my form three and form four, I was always looking forward to seeing Mariam Bishar on stage. No other woman ever meant anything to me apart from her. This one time I went to a cyber and downloaded her photos, printed them and hanged them in my room. Everyday I would wake up and pray to her (so that I could meet her one day and marry her).

Crushing on her taught me one thing. That the human mind is in deed a workshop. We can create beautiful, awe-inspiring stuff. Or we can destroy ourselves and the people we love. Although I knew I would never talk to Mariam Bishar face to face, I always held the fantasies of us together. And so instead of building me, the thoughts I had about her only made me worse. 

There was a time I was so mad at my mother. And in the middle of the heated argument I said, "Nimechoka. Acha niende kutafuta Mariam Bishar." Now this was a time where wearing chains and having tattoos made you a member of illuminati. A time where older women were seriously preying n young boys. From My mother's face, I could see fear and disappointment. Like she thought I had a mumama. 

My relationship with women was not great. Whenever a girl showed interest in me, I would tell them I have a girlfriend...a wife? Called Mariam Bishar. And for a long time I stayed in that cocoon helpless and hoping for miracles to happen. Then I finished highschool. Joined campus meeeeeeeeeeehn, is it me only ama you also have a good taste in wiminz?

But even after seven years, I still feel Mariam Bishar is the only woman that I ever crushed on on deeply. When I came across her today, the feelings came back. But maybe she is already married(or was) and I may never get the chance. I want to stay taliban lakiiiiiiini, no!